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The People Must Pay

Danny Holmes & John Airey

My people want to have a celebration
To thank me for my fifty years as Queen
There’ll be monologues and prestidigitation
And every entertainment in between
It’s all for my delight and delectation
I can hardly wait to see the goings on
I’ll be feted as befits my regal station
And wear the royal jewels all day long

But wait, a thought has rained on my parade
Who will pay the bills that must be paid?
If they think how much I’ve done
Their hearts will all be won
Let patriotic fervour be displayed.

The Corn Laws, every one repealed
The origin of man revealed
The concept of magnetic field, what fun
Working people proudly boast
Telegraph circuits coast to coast
The railway and the Penny Post, thank one

Chorus:
It’s the only civil way, it’s a public holiday
The people they must pay

It’s clear this reign’s provided great advances
In all elements of worldly property
By my conduct I’ve been steadfast in my stance as
A model of domestic purity
One’s subjects won’t object to a collection
If city, town and village celebrate
Recompense will make sense to the nation
They’ll empty their own pockets on a plate

How the future’s looking bright
We photograph by magnesium light
To celebrate this group tonight, how cool
Now we all proceed with speed
On imperial velocipede
And how the empire’s grown indeed, I’m no fool

Chorus

Mrs Beeton made those washdays quicken
Remedial cures to heal the stricken
I gave them Coronation Chicken too
After such endeavours, it’s perverse
To make the sovereign reimburse
To have to raid the privy purse won’t do

Chorus

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